Welly well well. The axe has fell. It’s do or die. The publication schedule of this blog went from daily to every other, twice-weekly to weekly and then sadly to nothing at all. Allot has happened since the last time we met on here, but it’s no excuse. The pathetic truth was I am unable to write when I’m happy. Better, I am unable to post to Going For The Throat when life is good. Anger and depression, isolation and rage were this blog’s raison d’etre. I railed against: politics, the big business of news reporting, the music industry, rock and roll, ex-lovers and dream lovers, the catastrophy of a world gone wrong, spinning wildly barging in and obliterating my sensitivities. The blog was at best a refuge and at worst a whipping post, some anchor in all the madness, my own way of framing trouble and the bad blues, wrapping it up and nailing it down to 600 words. The other thing that kept me from posting on here was the usual suspect of transparency. While I have had to amend my stringent policy of never editing anything I post, I never wanted to keep anything from you, good reader. With the fourth wall down, we were finally able to BE together, from Philadelphia to Bahrain, ATX to the PDX, from NYC to Dublin, Norway to New Orleans. I never lived down being a soldier for the New Journalism even though I was certainly a card carrying member. As mentioned, most of the time spent on here was trying to rope the bull. I couldn’t offer any critical thought or reassurance, the darkness was full blown, I had ’em on my neck and I was flanked on 3 sides with only one round left. I was dealing with my own blues. While they bled in Syria and died of thirst on the Great Continent, and the police in this country averaged 3 deaths a day on their watch in 2015. We all said our peace and moved along. It was a temporary fix, but one I couldn’t afford and barely stomach. I’d already been cheating my brothers and sisters by not answering the Call, I’d be good and goddamned to participate in the general jacking off that passes for activism in the New Century. All that said, it’s great to be back.
The daily tugging of this blog I had been feeling suddenly lifts and none of it matters as I have found a flow. The words are coming easy. They’re quick words and urgent. I can feel it. There is lots to uncover. I have so much to share. On the other side of the void of my absence, caffeinated and writing in the easy afternoon, glad to be alive but unsure how long this can go on. Of course I’m talking about blogging, ’cause I’ve been shook. I don’t know what to report on when everything is fine. No bull to rope, no petition to tend, nothing to nail down and send down wire into the hungry land. Looking at the word count it seems I’ve done it for today and it’ll have to be good enough. For today I have won. Hope to see you soon.
Your Blogger,
Jim Trainer
Austin TX
Going for the Throat 