JIM TRAINER’S 8TH FULL-LENGTH COLLECTION OF POETRY NOW AVAILABLE THROUGH YELLOW LARK PRESS

Poetry is madness until it is song…
—Atticus
Why can’t I just close the door
and let myself be more than yours?
—Lydia Loveless
Then I started writing again. Maybe it was how I was raised, maybe Catholicism had some sort of impact. Growing up, I didn’t see Catholicism as optimistic. But there’s something in this world, and beyond maybe. I thought I was ready to throw it all away. But now I feel like there are still things to be done. I know my time here is limited. All our time is. So what are we going to do with it, even so?
—Bart Solarczyk
It is difficult to get the news from poems, yet men die miserably every day for the lack of what is found there.
—William Carlos Williams
Compassion is the basis of morality.
—Schopenhauer
The dusks are easy now, as I bear the brand of a new and redoubled solitude. It isn’t just that loss has cracked me open but that my heart is a flue and takes burning, junk and her memory, and lets go of the smoke. What’s gone paints the low and warm sky. I am not speaking to death these days, as it rears and moves closer than it’s ever been I walk. In the city and through her. I came home with a poem but kept it only sketched in ink and lay looking through the glass doors up to the turning sky. I fell asleep and was startled awake by a priest in a vampire movie. I watched your video chat, smoking in the court. Calling me darlin’. The hard red line of your brassiere pushing up through your pajama top early in the first morning of the year. There’s an ease to and us and it eases me. I woke up like that, easy, 6 hours later with you still on my mind. This life we dreamed up for ourselves—it was so simple to them, they think it just dropped right out of the sky and not from the love we had and beared for them. It is no longer tied, and free. Free to our books and songs, strong black coffee and Export As, Ballade No. 4 in F Minor and Mama You Been On My Mind.
I put the ’21 penny on the altar to be burned. And a nickel from 2014. I took the Rumi calendar out with the trash. Full of flights and dates and hope. Threw it all in the bin, standing caffeinated under a pig-iron sky, staring at the neighbors, more than a little hurt and spry. I’m done leaving the hometown and stuck here, as far as I can tell and not going anywhere. I’ve still got a thousand dreams etched in stained glass across the cathedral of my heart. The old git’s got a broke string. The nut’s been gorged by a hack tech and buzzes some, despite Little Brother’s efforts. It’s full of those old songs we can’t sing anymore. Sturdy tunes but we don’t like where they take us do we. The cut path in the yard is snowed over and the phantom of our fathers have slipped the cage and left the door open. They took some of the old karma and beat-up love and we are here, wondering and free. It doesn’t matter the pain or even our looming end. I bought a used French press at Goodwill and my days are fortifying, calling out and pulling down another dream. We can have it now and each other and let go into the simple ease of the price we paid. Your voice and your fine legs and whatever this tame and wild life has in store. I can’t wait to see you.
Circa nineteen-eighty-one
he pulls you back…
—Liz Phair
Wholehearted faith is about recognizing our belovedness.
—Jeff Chu
Hate everything, just don’t let it hate you.
—Big Brother, me, to Little Sister
Hard getting up and I can’t remember the dream I had with us except that it felt good and the first thing to come into focus was a shiny new penny that fell off my leg and to the floor, heads-up—2021. Eggs and bacon at my old boss’s, where I used to work and live, with my adopted family. Posey Jo’s mom and dad, separated and working together. Her grandparents, same. After breakfast Posey Jo’s mom and me talk about the X (and the ruin she represents), moving forward whole-heartedly, places to live (Lisbon) and you.
Came home and slept for 5 hours, woke up to video call with Mama Greenberg, Don, my adopted mom. I love her so much. We talk so deep we hover, about: death, growth, publishing, poetry, the X (and the ruin she represents) and you. Warm all day, cool at night. Heard from another poet on STRIDE—”Like DeNiro in Raging Bull, taunting through his own blood: ‘You never got me down Ray. You never got me down.’” Your name is musical, it rises from kvetching and conversation throughout the too-warm Christmas, 11 years later on a calliope wind.