Jim Trainer

RETIREMENT BLUES

In Uncategorized on May 10, 2021 at 1:52 pm

THE FOLLOWING POST WAS WRITTEN BETWEEN MONDAY MAY 3 AND FRIDAY MAY 7, 2020

SOCIAL MEDIA IS SHIT…TRAINER SEEKING HEALTHCARE…TRICKS OF THE TRADE, ADVICE FOR SUFFERING COLITIS AND LEARNING HOW TO TRUST A FART…JOIN JIM TRAINER ON PATREON FOR THE REAL REAL

If a man doesn’t work he doesn’t eat. Not me saying that in the bible.
Sheldon B. Lamey

Fucked. Forgive me if I dispense with the pleasantries. No need, right? We know each other. No need to go any further with Sheldon, either. He’s just as fucked but on a whole other level.  HEY YOU SITTING AT HOME TOO MANY PLACES HIRING FOR YOU TO STILL BE COLLECTING UNEMPLOYMENT, he posts, as the human race greasily slides down an evolutionary link. I don’t know how we became friends on the socials but we’re not anymore! Unfriending him was the healthiest choice and one of many I am making today. Waking up fucked in America. 

I called Community Care but they only see refugees. Lone Star Circle of Care can’t see me until June 29th. I got my blood work and treatment notes from Austin Gastro this morning. Signed up on the patent portal. My next round of calls will be to find a specialist who works with low-income patients. Otherwise I’ll have to file my taxes and go the Affordable Care route. All of my efforts hinge on my last phone call of the morning to the Texas Workforce Commission to see how much longer I can stay on unemployment. Fucked…


More and more this site is becoming what I always wanted for my work—a large and private audience and anyway a direct line to you.  I don’t get the same charge blogging as I did in earlier days of the Final Century, when you could make it here, when comedy made you laugh and your dick still functioned.
on Patreon this week

JOIN ME ON PATREON FOR EXCLUSIVE CONTENT WHERE WE CAN RUE THE LAST DECADE TOGETHER

Tuesday was an off day and I didn’t get much done. I successfully avoided doing my taxes, if inactivity counts for anything but I’d imagine Monica “Don’t fuck around.” Clark isn’t pleased. I talked with sustainability impresario and all-around Good Witch Melissa “Mesa” Materese though, and she worked wonders by offering simple connection and laughter. Also:

  • probiotics, broken up and dissolved in coconut water, switching between brands and strengths
  • kefir, in coconut water (non-dairy), feed the kefir to stretch it out as it’s a culture that will grow on its own
  • mesalamine in a flare, give it a try for 3 days, if doesn’t work try a couple more
  • ginger+tumeric, turmeric in everything but it needs something like ginger that’s heating
  • chia seeds, chia pudding made from soaking the seeds overnight
  • water, 1/2 your weight in oz. a day, with ginger+turmeric root throughout the day, chew the softened root at the end of the day or add it to dinner
  • Collagen, builds up the cellar lining of the intestine
  • peppermint oil, rubbed on belly in a counter-clockwise direction and on the soles of the feet
  • Do I have Candida?
  • Go outside, get out from 4 walls and breathe

Join me on Patreon for the whole story and more on the hopeless condition of Jim Trainer, and enjoy query letters, unpublished work and live poetry readings. I get a charge posting there, same’s I did here over 10 years ago, crunching triple-nickels on the roof of a dead Confederate palace in the triple-digit heat. Those were the days.  Here’s a sonnet from the brilliant Wanda Coleman and a charmer from Irish legend Steve DenehanKEEP BLEEDING IN THE ANNO FINEM is almost sold out! Get your copy here and watch the reading and its release here and here. Thank you for reading. Thank you for believing in me.

SIGN UP FOR JIM TRAINER’S POEM OF THE WEEK AND RECEIVE AN ORIGINAL POEM IN YOUR INBOX EVERY MONDAY.

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KEEP BLEEDING IN THE ANNO FINEM:
10 Years At Going For The Throat
NOW 
AVAILABLE AT JIMTRAINER.NET

READ THE COARSE GRIND AT INTO THE VOID

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