I went walking into the city dusk. I had Gun In Mouth Blues on at cilia-frying levels and kept my phones on while stalking angrily through the Whole Foods Industrial Complex. The fine bodies and smooth skin, shirtless bros in sunglasses, yoga pants and dogs fed my alienation. I need to be careful with this anger. It’s good for the pain but numbs everything else. I face a solitude I never earned. Anger’s just the cheapest way to get there. It’s easier to be alone if you act like you hate everyone. I come to the temple of this room, redoubled even in failure knowing the cost of my anger is a price I can no longer pay. —on Patreon
Did you catch Matt Borczon yesterday? Howaboutyour homeboy this month? I’m hard at work on STRIDE, my seventh full-length collection of poetry and it’s a dark one. Every book has been a spell and this one is no exception. I suppose in hoping to soar you’ve got to grovel first and anyway live down the generations’ karma of bad love and war. Patrons at the $10 level will get a signed and acknowledged copy of STRIDE and Patrons at the $5 level get all the access. Poems and songs, readings and missives like the one selected above are all yours for supporting your long-suffering romantic nihilist, Jim Trainer.
THE FOLLOWING POST WAS WRITTEN BETWEEN MONDAY MAY 3 AND FRIDAY MAY 7, 2020
SOCIAL MEDIA IS SHIT…TRAINER SEEKING HEALTHCARE…TRICKS OF THE TRADE, ADVICE FOR SUFFERING COLITIS AND LEARNING HOW TO TRUST A FART…JOIN JIM TRAINER ON PATREON FOR THE REAL REAL
If a man doesn’t work he doesn’t eat. Not me saying that in the bible. —Sheldon B. Lamey
Fucked. Forgive me if I dispense with the pleasantries. No need, right? We know each other. No need to go any further with Sheldon, either. He’s just as fucked but on a whole other level. HEY YOU SITTING AT HOME TOO MANY PLACES HIRING FOR YOU TO STILL BE COLLECTING UNEMPLOYMENT, he posts, as the human race greasily slides down an evolutionary link. I don’t know how we became friends on the socials but we’re not anymore! Unfriending him was the healthiest choice and one of many I am making today. Waking up fucked in America.
I called Community Care but they only see refugees. Lone Star Circle of Care can’t see me until June 29th. I got my blood work and treatment notes from Austin Gastro this morning. Signed up on the patent portal. My next round of calls will be to find a specialist who works with low-income patients. Otherwise I’ll have to file my taxes and go the Affordable Care route. All of my efforts hinge on my last phone call of the morning to the Texas Workforce Commission to see how much longer I can stay on unemployment. Fucked…
More and more this site is becoming what I always wanted for my work—a large and private audience and anyway a direct line to you. I don’t get the same charge blogging as I did in earlier days of the Final Century, when you could make it here, when comedy made you laugh and your dick still functioned. —on Patreon this week
Tuesday was an off day and I didn’t get much done. I successfully avoided doing my taxes, if inactivity counts for anything but I’d imagine Monica “Don’t fuck around.” Clark isn’t pleased. I talked with sustainability impresario and all-around Good Witch Melissa “Mesa” Materese though, and she worked wonders by offering simple connection and laughter. Also:
probiotics, broken up and dissolved in coconut water, switching between brands and strengths
kefir, in coconut water (non-dairy), feed the kefir to stretch it out as it’s a culture that will grow on its own
mesalamine in a flare, give it a try for 3 days, if doesn’t work try a couple more
ginger+tumeric, turmeric in everything but it needs something like ginger that’s heating
chia seeds, chia pudding made from soaking the seeds overnight
water, 1/2 your weight in oz. a day, with ginger+turmeric root throughout the day, chew the softened root at the end of the day or add it to dinner
Collagen, builds up the cellar lining of the intestine
peppermint oil, rubbed on belly in a counter-clockwise direction and on the soles of the feet
Do I have Candida?
Go outside, get out from 4 walls and breathe
Join me on Patreon for the whole story and more on the hopeless condition of Jim Trainer, and enjoy query letters, unpublished work and live poetry readings. I get a charge posting there, same’s I did here over 10 years ago, crunching triple-nickels on the roof of a dead Confederate palace in the triple-digit heat. Those were the days. Here’s a sonnet from the brilliant Wanda Coleman and a charmer from Irish legend Steve Denehan. KEEP BLEEDING IN THE ANNO FINEM is almost sold out! Get your copy here and watch the reading and its release here and here. Thank you for reading. Thank you for believing in me.
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Jim Trainer is a communicator. Growing up in the hardcore scene of the early 90’s taught him everything he needed to know about real work. Jim Trainer believes in rock and roll. It may be our only salvation in this dark world. He’s carried the torch for independent media, broadcasting ... Continue reading →
Going for the Throat 