Shrieks of Paradise, Correspondence&Rails#44: Dear Jeffrey

The Office of Jim Trainer

War Room

Bat Manor, TX

Jeffrey Privette

Lap of the Empire

Hippie Town, USA

Warmest Greetings from the War Room-

I’m sitting here drinking a pale ale in the AC.  We had some rain this morning and things are looking up.  Anything’s better than the state on fire w/a maggot Governor away on business.  We are born to Trouble, Jefferey, but I can handle mine.  Can you, Brother?

I think it high time to sing w/God and drink from the vine in an Appropriate place where they don’t care about Texas sports teams.  Being a Champion, like we are, is not limited to Victory.  Champions like us don’t cry about broken collarbones or cracked ribs.  We lick our wounds quietly w/our women and plot only the most bitter revenge.  Sometimes living long enough to watch them fly down in ruin&flames is good enough.  Other times, we sideline it w/a slow blues and a smoke over stimulating conversation.

If you’re having a bad day, end it, as my brother Kevin James used to say and still can be heard saying if you ever make it up to his apartment sized bar in West Philly.  We’re doing a couple of shows together on the east coast in a few weeks.  I’ll have to pipe down about how the Philadelphia Eagles are a bunch of fucking Losers while I’m there.  Those people will shoot you for your shoes.

I’ll be back in time for some Happy Haunting on my favorite holiday of Samhain in Hippie Town.  I’m thinking the Ghouls Ball on mushrooms.  Also heading down to Port Aransas for some much needed and Xanax aided r&r.  I don’t like to do drugs in public so I’ll save my little blue zenpaste for the end of our first night on the Gulf.  With any luck, I’ll be awoken to collard-green omelets&miso infused taters cooked by a thick Italian girl who understands me.

My heart is filled w/the Compassion for all things living, all things dying.  Everything else is War.  They will come w/their Resistance but they are paper-thin and We are Champions.  They’ve been squatting on Our meal ticket long enough.  It’s time to scale the wide walls and eat the Rich people.

Here is part two of my adventures in OK.  I do hope you enjoy it.

jimtrainer.wordpress.com/2011/10/07/monday-in-america/

Please give my best to the Missus and all the Children even if they’re not your favorite.  Beer soon, and Trouble after.  I look forward to our Deep Counsel.

your Brother,
Jim