Jim Trainer

BACK TO BLUE

In Uncategorized on July 18, 2019 at 9:00 am

We are asleep.  Our life is a dream.  But we wake up sometimes just enough to know that we are dreaming. 
-Ludwig Wittgenstein

I am having a weird life.
Justin Duerr

It was a good time to make weird shit.
Sasha Geffen

She took me out to work that day and helped me till the land
in the afternoon we planted seed and in the evenin’ we held hands…

Nellie Kane

There is almost no path a human being can follow that does not lead to heartbreak.
David Whyte

And the woods run mad with riot.
Paul Laurence Dunbar

There’s a painting of the jerkoff morning DJ on the wall of this cafe.  They’re playing Miles Davis too loud and someone brought a screaming kid in and made things even worse.  They’re snickering in Spanish behind me and a girl too pretty for her tattoo is yelling at the bar.  Some guy’s been in the stall of the MENS room too long.  I keep an eye on the door typing this at my table in the rear.  I’ve finished my tea.  The sun is setting.  It’s the middle of my 44th summer and one of the twelve we have left together.  A million things happened all over the world today.  A lot of them horrible and a lot of them profound.  Love and hate were the reason for those of us on the edge, though some needed no reason and life and death for the rest.  We’re gonna lay down tonight, like we always do, with our roots snapped up and unfurling over us in our beds, our hearts heavy with worry, heavy as lead, but maybe something bright too and burning deep in the jungle of our overwrought minds.  With less than hope I go on, rattled and unsure of anything except the ground meeting the blind volley of my heel toe but even then who knows?

Was I supposed to just hop off the high stool and walk out of that place with her ring in a Nat Sherman box, across a shaft of light and into the electric exhaust of trolleys and them hollering onto Baltimore Avenue–into the numbered sunset and away from what would never be again?  I’ve a wisdom and I knew a love, and rock and roll and radio, and broke the black glass window of the east coast night.  I came down to Texas.  Found sobriety, confronted anger and kept it, a tense bedfellow and paltry defense but really no defense at all.  I’m unsure of love and it keeps me lean.  I don’t go in for whole swathes of everything I used to live for and I’m strange and gallowing, the least likely to get swept away by anything except the dark roaring swells of my solitude, walking in luck because I walked away and I feel it, my luck—an ease my old man never did but with his wry cynic’s edge that would all but wilt my mother’s dumb charm.  I didn’t get free but learned and rode what hunted me.  I made it, which answers the question ain’t it–was I supposed to survive?  Apparently and now I get down on bended knee before I head out and make my savage swing, I get down in front of the prayer wall and pray, I say–thank you.  That’s all, just thanks.  Thank you.  Thank you so much.

LOVE&WAGES

Excited to release Love&Wages at these fine establishments next month:

 

Sunday August 11 at 7PM
Quimby’s, Brooklyn NY
with Dylan Angell, Sam Askew and Shy Watson
Monday August 12 at 7PM
A Novel Idea, Philadelphia PA
with Charlie O’Hay and Rob Kaniuk
Thursday August 15 at 7PM
Seventh Son Brewery, Columbus OH
with Amy Turn Sharp

 

For more information and to sign up for Jim Trainer’s Poem Of The Week, please visit jimtrainer.net.  Thanks!

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