Well. What a difference a week makes. Eh, good Reader? Or a couple, or however long it’s been. The column and this blog have been back ordered and front loaded. Having more than one column or post written is just how it’s done. We all know life can fuck you around, from out of nowhere and around your neck like a fight in the alley with your deaf neighbor or having to flee and move, fast, strapping all your belongings to a 16′ stake bed and inching down 45th Street in the spritzing rain. I’m in the new place now, thank Christ. I’ve flown the Grifter and sitting here with the wash of 35 out my northern facing windows. I’ve no oven and no refrigerator but that’s alright for now. What matters most are these walls and this door and this time of ours we have together, sipping hot coffee with honey on a Sunday before we get back to the Grind tomorrow. What a grind it’s been, too. Days and days of exhaustion and dread. I reckon I’ve been working since 5am the Friday before last, on the job and moving with the help of Brown Thought and reassembling the loft bed with my photographer Adam Glick. Yesterday was the first break I got. I got up early but not too and waited in vain for the electrician before I headed out to my gig in Wimberly, for some dollars and lunch. The gig, and the people there–good old Jay Sims and daughter Abby, Clarisse and her mother Michelle, Ms. Joy and Graciela and Josh at the catfish stand–they did wonders for my mood and countenance. When I got back from Wimberly the electrician had left his key in the door and the door separating my unit from the house was wide open. I’m gonna have to let that go, for now, and utilize what skills things going wrong has taught me.
You’ve got to appreciate what you have. You’ve got to find some space in the day or the grind will beat you, chew you and spit you out. First it was my People. They came to me from out of all this like a salve, or anchor, or cable padlocked to the fork of a SkyTrak when I was stuck in the mud. Brother Julian and I played “Salty Dog” and “Wrecking Ball” on South Congress on Thursday. We made some dollars and hooted and hollered and I smiled at some pretty girls and even made some Philly fans. I’m sure that posting about things being ok and even joyous might be of a completely different order than what we usually do here. Oh well, I know that, as a writer, I’ve got to write it down and as a performer I need you to read it. See how that works, Good Reader? We’ve got each other and isn’t that nice? I’ve got 4 more days on the job before I fly to Philly. If all goes well I’ll lay some tracks with Josh Britton in his home studio in Pottstown. We may get a reading together. I may be on the air. What’s for sure is we’ll be playing Burlap&Bean next Saturday and Wayside Cider in Andes, NY after that. I’m hoping to see some folks, eat some food and rest. Spring is no quarter for me, I’ve still got to get 2017’s Yellow Lark release out, work out the plans for Brown Thought’s book and plan for my summer abroad. It’s been a motherfucker, my People. No doubt about that. Not only that but the constant barrage of bullshit had me questioning this path and I still don’t have an answer. Am I only Peter Panning it, and avoiding something by going after this dream? Am I just a tireless escapist who refuses to grow up and will never be comfortable? Or am I just getting my sea legs? The anxiety and dread I been going through were only virgin pains. It won’t always be so uncomfortable not knowing where I’ll live and how I’ll make money. What’s key now is to keep at art’s creation, no matter the consequence or living situation. I’ve got work to do and it’s the same old same old. I’m beginning to see the light and it’s finally stopped raining thank Christ. I’ve had enough mud for a lifetime.
Stay tuned for some good news. And the other kind.
Ab irato,
Trainer
Jim Trainer will perform at Wayside Cider in Andes, NY on Friday March 30 and Saturday March 31 at Ox Coffee in Philadelphia, PA with Psalmships, Andrew Victor and Swimming Bell.
As a contributor to Into The Void Magazine, Jim Trainer offers The Coarse Grind once a month there. Tune in this Sunday for Part 2.
Stay tuned for news about Take To The Territory, Trainer’s 4th collection of poetry and prose and his 3rd release through Yellow Lark Press.
Going for the Throat 