To remind me of how far I’ve come, here is a repost of “half life”, a poem I wrote last year. You don’t have to be a victim of depression. There is help out there. There are solutions and ways to alleviate your suffering. Thanks as always.
TRAINER
–for Ryan Camp
worse than last year
and last year I was feeling
worse than the year before
I’m half the man I was
and even less than that every year
I look in the mirror
and it’s the same face
kind&wretched
is the goddess still in love with me?
time wrecks me and wears me down
the red heart’s pocked with hatred
and I’m better off w/o them
but it got me, too
this cheap, fast life
in which you hold on and you can’t win
but if you let go you’ll just lose
I can tell you’ve grown tired, friend
you’ve held me up too long
and it’s dragging you down
you know I still know what’s right
shit, she tried to hug me at the party
last night
but
there won’t be any forgiveness for her
either
she’s as phony as they come
her porcelain smile…
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Going for the Throat 
[…] out to fissiparous and peculiar atmospheres of solitude, needing less of them than I did even last year. My health is a literal pain in the ass. I can’t shit or have to immediately and […]